In a crisis torn, South American country, only little Ann's faith, her determination, and one young woman could help keep her dreams of escape alive.

A true story...
Find a synopsis and other details about Sunday’s Child at my confidence blog (linked). Read excerpts here: List of Books on Amazon

My Descent Into Dark Waters

Have you ever tipped your foot into waters so deep your only consolation was the relief you felt at not being able to see the dangers that lurked beneath the surface before they came to devour you?

My descent into this pool of desolation came quite unexpectedly, and left me wounded and gasping against the rocks which barely blocked my freefall into something desperately worse. At the time, my only rationale for consuming anything was that I knew I would die faster if I didn’t. The single reason I cleaned myself was so that my body did not repulse the ambulance crew when they came to get me again.

After my surgery I had dizzy, high hopes of returning to normal life. I even agreed to do a photo shoot which was to start a mere 6 days after the operation. My husband and children were due to go on holiday the first day of my shoot. It was a holiday that was planned ages in advance, way before I got the surgery date.

When the post surgery infection hit, the ripples it made encircled every pore of my body. The people who’re familiar with what this particular blog is (mainly) about, understand that my threshold for pain and hurt have been solidly built up to extreme heights. They will know that the presence of tears meant that my spilt milk had to have been caramelised on high heat, scraped off the pan with a rusty, serrated dagger, then stomped into the ground with muddy, workmen’s boots.

One of the surgeons who had to see me before I was discharged said that it would take a while to heal. I knew that. He said that they had to handle and move my muscles and blood vessels to be able to cut out the bone – bit by bit – that was tangled around them and the nerve endings, causing me all the pain. I suppose I knew that too. Though it hadn’t occurred to me when I was making photo shoot plans, that the doctors’ hands were going to be within my slight body, handling my insides.
When the sweats and chills hit me under the sheets, I grabbed hold of my husband’s pillow and pressed it against the tin opener working on my chest. During the fits of nightmarish sleep which evaded my grasp every time I lounged, my only thought was when the blackout would return and how long would it last this time.

Not being able to eat, water was all I could consume apart from the small packet of plain rice I cooked myself for dinner in the microwave oven. Being in the house on my own all day was equally as bad as being alone, awake in bed counting down the minutes until I took my next set of pain killers. It was remarkable to me that through my tears I did ask God to forgive my sins before I asked him to heal my body. It was also remarkable – even in my state of mind, that I, a person who refused to go on pain medicine while suffering years of pain, was filling up the water bottles beside my bed for one reason only – to hungrily drown the pain killers I had scattered there. Then it hit me! The bottom of the rock, that is.

That night I lay in bed with the pillow pressed against my churning chest and determined to ride the pain jerks and the cold chills without cosying up to the water bottles and the pills. Yesterday I spoke to my husband and kids in France and he said, ‘At least the kids aren’t there to bother you.’ Bother me, ha! That’s the least of my problems.

I still have to ride the pain and get rid of the infection. It will take some time, a lot more than I thought – foolish me! I’ve been away from the internet for a while. I don’t know if this is my return, but it sure is something, right.


Loree said...

I pray you will be feeling better soon. It's a tough time for you but I hope it will be over soon.

internetg33k said...

Annie, I'm so sorry to hear you're having such a struggle. Lots of love and light heading in your direction.



Anne Lyken-Garner said...

Thank you so much, Loree and Traci. It really does help that people out there are sending such good and positive vibes my way.

It serves to give me a 'well' outlook. Healing starts in the mind.

•°°• IcyBC •°°• said...


Hope you feel much much better soon!

Hugs and love..

Unknown said...

Annie, you are in my prayers. It was too soon to schedule a shoot. You are so brave, but indulge yourself, please! We love you. Take care & God bless.

Glynis Peters said...

I hope all improves for you asap Anne!! Hugs

Diane said...

I pray leaps and bounds of healing to you. God is with you and it sounds like he is doing some emotional/mental healing along with physically healing your body. :O)

Anne Lyken-Garner said...

I've been overwhelmed by the support and kindness of my friends. It does put a perk in my step to getting better.

Thank you so much.

Caio Fern said...

hi Annie !!!
good to know your blog .
you have a very good work .

Anne Lyken-Garner said...

Thanks for stopping by, Caio.

Middle Ditch said...

Oh Anne, I didn't know. Too absorbed by my own goings on.

I really, really hope that you will feel better soon. X

Anne Lyken-Garner said...

Thanks, Monique. I'm now on the mend and back to writing.


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